Two days ago, Theo had her first full-scale, rolling-on-the-grass-stomping-your-feet-GO-AWAY-MUMMY tantrum. It was pretty out of character for her and felt hard to relate to while it was happening. What could she be feeling? It all seemed so irrational.
Then one of my moods slowly started creeping in this morning and suddenly I’m sitting here, all crocodile tear-y and filled with a kind of sad, simmering anger that almost seems too stupid to admit. But I will, because one of the things I told myself when starting this website was that in addition to showing off, like, all the super rad things I like to look at and posting some of our family experiences, I also wanted it to feel real and honest.
Some days I just absolutely hate the internet because on every single site I visit, things look so g.d. PERFECT. Usually I love this stuff – I assure you I am not immune to the pull of beautiful things. And I should be inspired. But I guess that today, seeing perfectly lit and professionally shot photos of your expertly styled home full of expensive things is pissing me off. Seeing super skinny women with shiny hair holding up their just-three-month old babies are pissing me off. Seeing colour-coordinated sparkly donut parties are pissing me off. I think that seeing SUCCESS is just filling me with a really unattractive brand of envy and I am having an internal ‘tantrum’ moment of my own.
SO. Time to laugh it off (this is just the kind of dumb thing that’s helping a little bit). Go for a walk. Swear off Pinterest for the rest of the day. Deep breath. Do you ever feel this way?
Update: I just came across an eloquent post from a couple months ago by Victoria (SF Girl by Bay) that addresses some similar feelings. It’s a good read.